How to get someone to fail out of seminary or go bankrupt
Give them fish.
A while ago Ben went to seminary and I joked that he seemed lonely and needed fish. He freaked out and threatened to flush any animals that he received. I convinced him that I didn't care and that I was sending him some fish. I sent him goldfish crackers. It made me laugh.
A bunch of us were hanging out and I mentioned the fact that Ben needed some fish. Someone had the brilliant idea that each of us should send parts of a fish tank to Ben. One day he would get the bowl, the next day rocks, then food, then a net, then fish. It would be a great practical joke.
But then Scott moved away and the bowl didn't get sent for a couple of months. Through a series of miscommunications not everything was sent and when I showed up with the fish all he had was a bowl and some food. That's ok. These were goldfish. They should be fine. They are very low-maintenance fish.
They were until they started swimming sideways which occurred the day after Ben got them. Ben's sister Dawn told him that he needed a larger tank, an air bubbler, rocks and distilled water. Ben, being concerned for the health of his new friends, Fred and Jose, bought these needed supplies.
Things were good until Ben's friend who worked in a fish department and was trained by two fish experts, pointed out that his fish were traumatized. Just look at how they were breathing. Things were not right with these fish. These fish happen to be comet goldfish and apparently comet goldfish need a lot of room to dart about in their tank. Ben's tank just wasn't big enough.
Yep. The fish need another tank. These low-maintenance fish don't seem so low-maintenance anymore.
My dad works with a guy who's daughter won a goldfish at a carnival. They took it home and he decided that the fish needed a bigger bowl. After a while that one just didn't work and the fish needed a bigger tank. Soon after that the guy decided that he really wanted a salt-water aquarium. Then a bigger salt-water tank. In a month the guy spent over $20,000 on fish stuff.
Sorry Ben. We didn't know what kind of monster fish ownership can be.
The best part is that Ben is moving in with Scott, who will now have to deal with the fish as well.
Best joke ever.
A while ago Ben went to seminary and I joked that he seemed lonely and needed fish. He freaked out and threatened to flush any animals that he received. I convinced him that I didn't care and that I was sending him some fish. I sent him goldfish crackers. It made me laugh.
A bunch of us were hanging out and I mentioned the fact that Ben needed some fish. Someone had the brilliant idea that each of us should send parts of a fish tank to Ben. One day he would get the bowl, the next day rocks, then food, then a net, then fish. It would be a great practical joke.
But then Scott moved away and the bowl didn't get sent for a couple of months. Through a series of miscommunications not everything was sent and when I showed up with the fish all he had was a bowl and some food. That's ok. These were goldfish. They should be fine. They are very low-maintenance fish.
They were until they started swimming sideways which occurred the day after Ben got them. Ben's sister Dawn told him that he needed a larger tank, an air bubbler, rocks and distilled water. Ben, being concerned for the health of his new friends, Fred and Jose, bought these needed supplies.
Things were good until Ben's friend who worked in a fish department and was trained by two fish experts, pointed out that his fish were traumatized. Just look at how they were breathing. Things were not right with these fish. These fish happen to be comet goldfish and apparently comet goldfish need a lot of room to dart about in their tank. Ben's tank just wasn't big enough.
Yep. The fish need another tank. These low-maintenance fish don't seem so low-maintenance anymore.
My dad works with a guy who's daughter won a goldfish at a carnival. They took it home and he decided that the fish needed a bigger bowl. After a while that one just didn't work and the fish needed a bigger tank. Soon after that the guy decided that he really wanted a salt-water aquarium. Then a bigger salt-water tank. In a month the guy spent over $20,000 on fish stuff.
Sorry Ben. We didn't know what kind of monster fish ownership can be.
The best part is that Ben is moving in with Scott, who will now have to deal with the fish as well.
Best joke ever.
posted by Andi at
11:39 AM
