Old, Comfy Shoes

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Girls, Kiwi and Bees

Today at work, Stephen and I were talking about girls who date around just because guys will buy them things. Stephen made this comment:

"Girls are just black holes that you throw money into. They are a very bad return on investment."

I told him I could see him breaking up with a girl because of that. He said he would tell her:

"Honey this isn't working. You just don't have a very good return on investment. I mean these profit margins are horrible! I can't handle these percentages."

This is what dorky business majors talk about for fun.

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My brother Nate, isn't an extremely emotional person, but when he freaks out, he does it with style. I can only think of two times when he has done this.

The first time he took a bite of Kiwi fruit and began to feel a burning sensation in his throat. This obviously meant that he was choking and he reacted accordingly. He jumped out of his chair, stuck his arms straight up and began to run up and down the hall screaming, "I CAN'T BREATH!!! I CAN'T BREATH!" My mom freaked out and ran after him. Sarah and I yelled back that if he could scream then he wasn't choking and please shut up. He lived and never ate Kiwi again.

The second time was a bit more traumatic for everyone involved. My mom was mowing the grass and upset a bee hive in the ground. All of us kids were swarmed and ran to the house. Nate ran in through the back door while I shot for the front door. Unfortunately the front door was locked. I started pounding on the door yelling for Nate to open it. All I heard was Nate running up and down the hallway screaming. The screams would get louder as he ran past the door.
AHHHHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHHHAHHHHAHHHH

I figured something horrible was happening to him, like he was dying or more bees had attacked him. Once I got in through the back door I stopped him and asked him what was wrong. "I GOT STUNG BY BEES AND THERE WAS ONE IN THE HOUSE!" He yelled at me. We eventually counted our bee stings. He had two. I had six. Angry eyes.

I love Nate. He makes me laugh.

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