From my Global Economics course:

Prof: Any interesting news in the world since our last class?

Girl in Front Row: Ummm..... I went to Subway yesterday and they told me they didn't have any banana peppers because of the hurricane.

(How this is relevant world news I just don't know.)

Prof: Because of the hurricane?

Girl in Front: Yes...... Did they lie to me?

Prof: Yes. Class. The moral of the story is: Don't get your global economic news from Subway.