Break-In
Tonight I took an Andi Night. This means I rented movies, got a pint of tofutti chocolate crunch ice cream (it really is better than it sounds) and spent lots of time with me. It was one of the best Andi Nights I've had. But now the chocolate crunch is gone and I feel the need to post. Why? Because I am addicted to blogging. Makes me feel like I have friends who want to hear my stories.
This is how one night I broke into my friend's house.
Frances was out for surgery and had asked me to feed her dog if her mom stayed at the hospital. Her mom forgot to call me and the only instructions I had were "let the dog out and the key is in the window sill" I show up after dark and start to walk around her house with a flashlight. I figure I better get inside fast so the neighbors won't call the cops.
The only problem was that I couldn't find the dang key. I guess this is a good thing - Frances probably wouldn't want just anyone to be able to find a key to her house. After an extensive search I still haven't found the key but I did find a window that was unlocked. I open it and decide that just jumping through the window into a house with a dog could be a stupid thing to do. I certainly did not want to be attacked by Frances' dog. So, figuring I can spare a hand, I stick my left one through the window to see if the dog bites it. Fortunately the dog is more of the licking kind than the biting kind.
Wonderful. I can now safely break into Frances' house. Except the window is too high for me to climb through. The only thing around that I could stand on was a planter. Figuring Frances would rather lose the plant than have her dog pee all over her house, I turn the planter upside down, dump out all of the contents, pull myself through the window and tumble into the house. I have effectively freaked out her dog, who is now hiding under the couch. Way to guard the house.
I let the dog out and feed it. I return to the entry window to figure out how I am to get out without dropping too far to the ground, when I see something stuck to the screen. You got it. The key. CRAP! Well at least I could leave out the front door.
Worried that some observant neighbor might have called the cops, I peek through the front window to see if there is any activity outside. As soon as I touch the mini-blinds they come crashing down on me. On top of that, when I let the dog out, the back door comes off it's hinges. Great. I've broken into Frances' house, freaked out her dog, broke her blinds and unhinged her door. I should win the friend of the year award for all of this.
I try and put the house back together as much as possible and leave through the front door like a normal person. Fortunately, Frances has a great sense of humor and laughed about all of it. Unfortunately, she had just had stomach surgery and all the laughing caused intense pain. Yep. That confirms it. I am the worst friend in history. Sorry Frances.
This is how one night I broke into my friend's house.
Frances was out for surgery and had asked me to feed her dog if her mom stayed at the hospital. Her mom forgot to call me and the only instructions I had were "let the dog out and the key is in the window sill" I show up after dark and start to walk around her house with a flashlight. I figure I better get inside fast so the neighbors won't call the cops.
The only problem was that I couldn't find the dang key. I guess this is a good thing - Frances probably wouldn't want just anyone to be able to find a key to her house. After an extensive search I still haven't found the key but I did find a window that was unlocked. I open it and decide that just jumping through the window into a house with a dog could be a stupid thing to do. I certainly did not want to be attacked by Frances' dog. So, figuring I can spare a hand, I stick my left one through the window to see if the dog bites it. Fortunately the dog is more of the licking kind than the biting kind.
Wonderful. I can now safely break into Frances' house. Except the window is too high for me to climb through. The only thing around that I could stand on was a planter. Figuring Frances would rather lose the plant than have her dog pee all over her house, I turn the planter upside down, dump out all of the contents, pull myself through the window and tumble into the house. I have effectively freaked out her dog, who is now hiding under the couch. Way to guard the house.
I let the dog out and feed it. I return to the entry window to figure out how I am to get out without dropping too far to the ground, when I see something stuck to the screen. You got it. The key. CRAP! Well at least I could leave out the front door.
Worried that some observant neighbor might have called the cops, I peek through the front window to see if there is any activity outside. As soon as I touch the mini-blinds they come crashing down on me. On top of that, when I let the dog out, the back door comes off it's hinges. Great. I've broken into Frances' house, freaked out her dog, broke her blinds and unhinged her door. I should win the friend of the year award for all of this.
I try and put the house back together as much as possible and leave through the front door like a normal person. Fortunately, Frances has a great sense of humor and laughed about all of it. Unfortunately, she had just had stomach surgery and all the laughing caused intense pain. Yep. That confirms it. I am the worst friend in history. Sorry Frances.
posted by Andi at
11:03 PM
