The Raccoon Story
Now for the famed Raccoon Story.
All animal lovers please stop reading, this will get graphic.
The story begins at my home. I live on a small farm, in the countryish. I say countryish because we are only 15 min from everything, the mall, the grocery, school, everything. But we have a goat, sheep, occasionally chickens, dogs, cats etc.... so I live on a small farm.
Now enter this guy, who for security reasons I will just call "Matt". He was over at my house one night when my dad walks in and says, "There's a raccoon outside."
Now this is a fairly common occurrence in the countryish area. Though I suppose due to lack of natural predators and the elimination of their natural habitat, raccoons have adapted and become urban dwellers, frequently being found in the city and suburbs.
But anyway, this raccoon was sick. Like rabid looking sick. And it's in our backyard. Obviously, not a good situation.
Just so you know, we don't call animal control in the countryish area. There are too many animals to have them keep coming out. We just handle the situations ourselves. Take the stray dog to the pound ourselves, chase off the chicken eating raccoons ourselves.... etc.
We had no help in this situation, we were on our own. Like the pioneers who fought off cougars and bears, we too would have to protect our house and home!
So, my brother in all heroic majesty suggests "Matt" kill the rabid raccoon with a baseball bat. This would put the animal out of its misery, and solve the problem of a rabid raccoon in our yard. I'm still not sure if my brother was joking or not, but "Matt" agreed to do it.
My whole family, redneck style, stood outside and cheered "Matt" on. When I say cheer, I literally mean cheer. Not the little voicing of "Yeah!!" but I'm talking chanting "Matt, Matt, Matt." over and over again.
I don't think "Matt" really knew what think of the whole thing. He kept asking "Are you sure you want me to do this?" As if it was a strange request or something. My sister made the mature observation that "Matt" had touched the bat last, so he had to do it. My family cheered him on even more.
It only took one swing.
We were safe once again!
All animal lovers please stop reading, this will get graphic.
The story begins at my home. I live on a small farm, in the countryish. I say countryish because we are only 15 min from everything, the mall, the grocery, school, everything. But we have a goat, sheep, occasionally chickens, dogs, cats etc.... so I live on a small farm.
Now enter this guy, who for security reasons I will just call "Matt". He was over at my house one night when my dad walks in and says, "There's a raccoon outside."
Now this is a fairly common occurrence in the countryish area. Though I suppose due to lack of natural predators and the elimination of their natural habitat, raccoons have adapted and become urban dwellers, frequently being found in the city and suburbs.
But anyway, this raccoon was sick. Like rabid looking sick. And it's in our backyard. Obviously, not a good situation.
Just so you know, we don't call animal control in the countryish area. There are too many animals to have them keep coming out. We just handle the situations ourselves. Take the stray dog to the pound ourselves, chase off the chicken eating raccoons ourselves.... etc.
We had no help in this situation, we were on our own. Like the pioneers who fought off cougars and bears, we too would have to protect our house and home!
So, my brother in all heroic majesty suggests "Matt" kill the rabid raccoon with a baseball bat. This would put the animal out of its misery, and solve the problem of a rabid raccoon in our yard. I'm still not sure if my brother was joking or not, but "Matt" agreed to do it.
My whole family, redneck style, stood outside and cheered "Matt" on. When I say cheer, I literally mean cheer. Not the little voicing of "Yeah!!" but I'm talking chanting "Matt, Matt, Matt." over and over again.
I don't think "Matt" really knew what think of the whole thing. He kept asking "Are you sure you want me to do this?" As if it was a strange request or something. My sister made the mature observation that "Matt" had touched the bat last, so he had to do it. My family cheered him on even more.
It only took one swing.
We were safe once again!
posted by Andi at
12:44 PM
